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SCIENTISTS CONCLUDE: "THINGS MAKE YOU DIE"
November 12, 2005
Tokyo, Japan - A 3-month research into the cause of death in the majority of humans has come to an end. Over $4.23 billion was spent on the project, of which there was only one goal, to figure out why people die. A group of 13 doctors and scientists from around the world were assembled for the study. They took into consideration, ages, regions and habits of 10,000 random deaths from around the world.
"The findings were astonishing.", said Dr. Wee Nee, head of the research group and lead surgeon/chef at the Shangai Veterenary Clinic and Restaurant. "We discovered that even if one avoids negative factors such as smoking, drugs and alcohol...they still have the same chances of dying as one who abuses drugs, drives too fast or jump off of buildings. It's a strange phenomenon that we may never completely understand."
This information will likely come as a relief to some, while it will terrify others. The findings show that even if an individual lives their life on the 'straight and narrow' that they will ultimately end up in a non-living status.
Dr. Nee uses this example, "Compare the lives of rocker Kurt Cobain and Pope John Paul. Cobain abused drugs and alcohol, smoked frequently, listened to and played loud music on a daily basis and had an abusive relationship. On the other end of the spectrum, the Pope lived to what was believe to be a perfect life. He ate well, he was loved by millions, and he was close to the man upstairs. But look now, they are both gone."
Other conclusions made during the research include:
-Eggs will not lead to an immediate death, however over a long period of time eating a large amount of eggs every day will make you smell like them.
-While smoking is 'unhealthy' it is not an immediate cause of death. However at $4 a pack it may cause a large dent in your child's college fund.
-Tomatoes, previously believed to be healthy and extend life, do stain clothing if not consumed properly. Repeated staining, particularly on white shirts, will cause stress and eventual heart failure bringing on death sooner than expected.
-Drinking a small amount of alcohol each day does have some medical benefits. Drinking large amounts each day does make for some good stories.
SCIENTISTS CONCLUDE: "THINGS MAKE YOU DIE"
November 12, 2005
Tokyo, Japan - A 3-month research into the cause of death in the majority of humans has come to an end. Over $4.23 billion was spent on the project, of which there was only one goal, to figure out why people die. A group of 13 doctors and scientists from around the world were assembled for the study. They took into consideration, ages, regions and habits of 10,000 random deaths from around the world.
"The findings were astonishing.", said Dr. Wee Nee, head of the research group and lead surgeon/chef at the Shangai Veterenary Clinic and Restaurant. "We discovered that even if one avoids negative factors such as smoking, drugs and alcohol...they still have the same chances of dying as one who abuses drugs, drives too fast or jump off of buildings. It's a strange phenomenon that we may never completely understand."
This information will likely come as a relief to some, while it will terrify others. The findings show that even if an individual lives their life on the 'straight and narrow' that they will ultimately end up in a non-living status.
Dr. Nee uses this example, "Compare the lives of rocker Kurt Cobain and Pope John Paul. Cobain abused drugs and alcohol, smoked frequently, listened to and played loud music on a daily basis and had an abusive relationship. On the other end of the spectrum, the Pope lived to what was believe to be a perfect life. He ate well, he was loved by millions, and he was close to the man upstairs. But look now, they are both gone."
Other conclusions made during the research include:
-Eggs will not lead to an immediate death, however over a long period of time eating a large amount of eggs every day will make you smell like them.
-While smoking is 'unhealthy' it is not an immediate cause of death. However at $4 a pack it may cause a large dent in your child's college fund.
-Tomatoes, previously believed to be healthy and extend life, do stain clothing if not consumed properly. Repeated staining, particularly on white shirts, will cause stress and eventual heart failure bringing on death sooner than expected.
-Drinking a small amount of alcohol each day does have some medical benefits. Drinking large amounts each day does make for some good stories.
posted by Bob at 3:58 PM
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